Claw had just finished a summer shaping stint with Fred Pyke and Brian was a science teacher. As the conversation progressed, and no doubt thinking about how they could stay surfing Bells in the pumping months ahead, Claw posed the question that started something great
Ragged Boy on 05 Nov at 5: I got this idea after watching Dr. Sorcerer Supreme and thinking are there any young, black, and male magic superheroes. None that I can think of.
Ok, Boy no name yet is an inner-city black youth. He is lower middle class, borderline poor. He thinks very positively and hopes to be great someday and get out of the hood.
The Whatever Magic Coalition no name yet sponsors the search for the next group of great Mystics, to watch over the realms. Hundreds of sorcerers and sorceress, including evil, are to train one pupil into the next greatest sorcerer ess. Weird Wiz no name yet is a notoriously eccentric wizard who although is a ditz is extremely powerful.
He goes to Blank City or Ville no name yet to find his pupil, by randomly searching crowds for youths that he deems fit.
This is where the stories ties. Boy is at school in his last block class, having finished his work before the others, as usual, he begins to draw on his hand. He draws a series of circles and lines in no definite pattern.
Before Boy can quickly refuse, WW puts on a flashy show, showing Boy want he could do if he was his apprentice. Boy is amazed and accepts, signing a contract. Boy then wonders why him. WW says because Boy already already knows magic, he is the best pupil the hand incantation.
WW takes it jokingly, but Boy wants to quit, too late he already signed the binding contract. What do you think of this origin, What I hope to accomplish is make becoming and being a mage a structure system with tests and a heirarchy, instead of just you learn magic to a degree and claim the title mage or sorcerer or whatever.
They are for the most part on earth and are human. Ragged Boy on 05 Nov at 6: I will add more serious factors to my story. It was camoflauged though. What do you mean by camouflaged?
Mac on 05 Nov at 6: I glanced through your story and I think it has very much potential. I suspect that setting it on Earth will help quite a lot.
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Another factor that I think is a big positive is that the story feels less like a magical superhero story a la Sailor Moon or American Dragonbut more of a real-world magical fantasy like Harry Potter or So You Want to be a Wizard. The distinction probably feels very minor, and maybe it is, but I think that more publishers and readers will go for the magical fantasy than a magical superhero story.
Enough hair-splitting from me. I think that the aspiring borderline-poor protagonist is very strong and has a lot of dramatic depth. I think that him being black will also help your marketing efforts and may help distinguish the work from books like Harry Potter. I like the connection between the boy and the wizard, although it seems maybe a bit contrived that the wizard just happens to run across the boy that just happened to draw a magical incantation.
It may be problematic if the boy is chosen because he was born with great magical potential, for chosen one reasons.
If he just happened to see the wizard working magic, and was able to replicate a minor spell with his art, I think he might feel a bit less like a chosen one.
I think the story might benefit from the injection of more competitiveness.
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